With me around there are hardly any dull moment. Smiles are what I like to see, laughter is what I like to hear and Hugs & kisses are what I like to feel.Sometimes it seems like I have so much going on all at once. No matter what I always remain smiling because the Lord watches over me.

Friday, March 30, 2007


I wasn't going to post anything so this will be very short.

This post was kinda inspired by Ladynay. She made mention of how we don't keep in touch with our friends the way we should. My question is do we let the people that we see everyday know how much we love and cherish them? I asked this because last night when I got to work I found out a little girl died just 2 hours before I got there. She was only 15 years old. It was a car accident and her 18 year old brother was driving. I instantly started to tear up. I called my daughter and immedietly told her I loved her. That wasn't unusual to her because I NEVER walk out of the house, or hang up the phone without telling her that I love her. I told her about the little girl and she said she would say a prayer for her family. I thought that was so sweet of her.

I had an incident with her about 2 years ago. She was missing. As soon as we realized she was not in school and no where to be found we immedietly called the police. It took no time at all for my whole family to be at my house waiting with me and walking around the neighboorhood with a picture of her. I remember I was absolutely freaked out and I kept saying to myself over and over "God forbid anthything to happen to my baby, but if it does she knows that I love her because I say it to her every single morning and every chance I get" I had everyone in the house in tears. But that was something that was getting me thru just knowing that she always knows that I love her to death.

So anyway...I just want everyone to not only get in touch with someone but let someone know you love them. You never know what may happen. I'm so sure that family never thought that when their children got into that car to go wherever they were going that one of them would come home and the other one would not make it back home ever again.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The bouncer, the "potential" new guy , the ex

Last night was my go out and get drunk night. I absolutely love $2.00 Tuesdays. I love paying $2.00 for a drink. By the time I leave there I'm ususally "to the left, to the left" hahaha
Anyway. It was almost 80 degrees yesterday so you know it was time to break out the shorts in the club. Not to short, but it was definitely time to show some leg. Dam near all the chicks in the club were dam near naked! Ladies please do not get upset about this BUT I see why so many men are out here cheating. First of all the way we out number them is ridiculous. Not to mention how we dress when we are in the club. Then factor in how some of them act once they get some liquor in their system. They start throwing themselves at any halfway descent man that walks by. Any weak man can easily give into temptation. I know that is horrible but that is the truth. What can I say, I deal in harsh realities.

Before I went in I seen the bouncer. OMG!! He is so cute. I don't mean pretty boy cute or even Dezel Washington sexy. He is more like Lorenze Tate (but much taller) in Love Jones. You know how he was just really cute. And it was something about him that you can't quite put your finger on. But as soon as he flashed that award winning smile you was ready to just melt. Or like Will Smith (same height) in Hitch. When he was failing miserably at trying to impress Eva but she just could not resist his charm.
Well that is how I feel about him. So as I was walking in I did speak to him and he spoke back and told me I was looking good. That made me blush.

On another note there is a guy that I used to see at the club all the time a few years ago. So I have been seeing him recently and last week I told him that I remember him and he is still looking sexy as ever. He smiled, said thank you and we kept it moving. Well last night he kept eyeballing me from across the room. Then he bumped me a couple of times..on purpose I might add. So I finally told him that if he kept it up I was going to rape him. He laughed and I looked him in the eye and without cracking a smile I told him I was dead serious. So we did exchanged #'s.

When I was leaving, the bouncer, I'll call him "E" was just staring at me as I was leaving. So I stopped and told him I had a bone to pick with him. I told him that I was sick of him acting like he wasn't interested then when he sees me at the club he is all in my face. He said he was leaving me alone because I told him I was not interested. So we went back and forth then he finally said he would call me.

BUT I had another dilemma I didn't think about until after I left. Earlier that day I droppped my phone in some water and it was not working. It would not ring and the screen is just blank. So when I got home I changed my message and it said that I dropped my phone in some water so it was messed up, and to call my house phone. I left the # because he doesn't have the house #. I also said that if you leave a message to also leave your #. Well, it worked because when I woke up later that afternoon. (Y'all know I'm not a day person). He called and left a message. He even called my house phone. He said he was really looking forward to hearing from me so I called him back. We talked about how we are going to fit seeing each other into his schedule. He works all the time. I like that. He said that he just wants to try to find some real time to spend with me and get to know me. He said that he didn't want to be the kind of guy that calls all the time. I told him that you have to start somewhere and he agreed. So now I feel like we are getting on the right track. We have tentative plans to see each other on Saturday. So I will keep you posted.
I'm not trying to rush anything but I can't wait to get him in bed! I know that is horrible. That's something a guy would say but that's how I feel.

One more thing before I go. I heard from my ex. He is getting out in 2-3 months. That means that he won't learn anything. He needs to really do some time in order to really get himself together. He asked me to come to his sentencing in 2 weeks. I told him I won't be there and please do not contact me when he gets home. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind having him as a friend but he doesn't know where to draw the line between friend and girlfriend and I do not feel like dealing with the drama. Plus he already knows how it is with me once it gets nice outside. I'm not trying to be tied down. I want to be free to do whatever. So anyway I'll keep you posted on that also.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Just babbling

I spent about $200.00 yesterday. I want my money back. I did buy a shirt that has completed me. No, I'm serious. I have a pair of shoes that I have had FOREVER and I couldn't really find anything to wear with them because they are a funny color. I do have a pocketbook that matches them. I ordered it on-line. I was reading a magazine and I seen Paris Hilton with it and there was a website you could go to to get a knockoff. So I ordered the pocketbook and everytime I use it I get so many compliments on it. Now I have a shirt to go with the pocketbook that also goes with the shoes.

We went to the club last night. I was a little tipsy. Actually I was a lot tipsy. It felt like I was in the Matrix. AAHHHHH that is such a wonderful feeling! Everything just seems ok when you are feeling like that. Redman was there. He wasn't supposed to be there but I guess he was just out chillin'. My sister is so rude. She was like, "why is everybody going crazy over Redman? When was the last time he had an album drop?" I just fell out laughing. I wasn't worried about him. Because unless he was trying to buy a sistah a drink I didn't have no words for him. I'm not star struck like that anyway. They are regular people just like we are. But I do have a select few that they might have to get security to remove me from the premises if I come across them. But definitely not Redman. He was real cool though. He took pictures with everyone and was just chillin.
I remember another time we were in a different club and Lil Wayne just walked right past us like it wasn't nothing. Me and my sister looked at each other and was like, Naw that can't be who we thought it was. But it was his little ass. He was with only one other person. He didn't have a whole enterage or anything like that.

I am driving a rental car right now. Do you remember I told y'all that my car got hit. The driver's side door had a dent. It was a little more than a dent. It was a split. They claim it will take 3-4 days to fix it. I don't care because there is no money at all coming out of my pocket. The insurance company is paying for my car and the rental. They gave me a Pontiac Grand Prix. It's definitely a muscle car. It has a lot of power under the engine. I guess I like it. At first I didn't care for it but it has grown on me.

My daughter is beautiful. I don't just mean her looks. I'm just talking about her whole aura. Right now I am loving everything that she has going on. She had a science fair on Saturday. She called me at least 3 times to tell me how nervous she was and how she wanted to win. She didn't win but a friend of her's made 2nd place so she was excited that someone from her school won a place. There were a few different schools so she was happy that someone from her school won something. She has been focused on her basketball. They won their game on Sunday. It was actually the best game they have played. I was very proud of the whole team. I brought her a basketball so she can practice at the court around the corner from us. She is already looking into the next thing she will do when basketball is done. Her report card was also a lot better than what it has been. I still told her she could do better and she agreed with me. She even took it upon herself to pay for her trip on Friday with her own money. I thought that was very mature of her. I can see all that ass kicking I was doing is starting to finally pay off.

One more thing before I go. There is a bouncer at the club that I was talking to recently. We exchanged #s a while ago and we talk sparatically. I finally told him I was no longer interested because I can't figure out what game he is playing. I figure he must have a woman. When we talk it's not really about anything. When I see him at the club he always goes out of his way to speak and acknowledge me. But still there is nothing. So one day he called and left a message and I didn't call him back then when I seen him he asked me if I was mad and I told him I wasn't mad I just was no longer interested. He said ok and we kept it moving. But the problem is his smile is so dam cute I can't stand it.

Thursday, March 15, 2007


I guess it's hard to know what people are and are not attracted to when you first meet them. You don't know what someone's preference is. And sometimes you might be fairly attracted to someone on the physical level but definitely not on the mental level. Let me give you a few examples of what I'm talking about....
There is a guy at my job and at first I was just figuring he was cool and we were just chillin at work the way I chill with all of my men at work. But it didn't take to long to realize he had a different agenda. He told me that we were trying to build a pyramid together. WOW!! I didn't realize we were supposed to be building that kind of relationship. Now I'm not trying to be mean, but I need to be honest. He was in no way shape, form or fashion my type. He is not someone I could ever see myself being romatically involved with. I have a million reasons why but I won't name them because I don't want it to seem like I'm being conceited. So I had to think of it would he possible be able to know he was not my type of man. Maybe I was just his type of woman and that's what was driving him to try and build this so called "pyramid" with me. Then I find out that he has an ex girlfriend that works in the hospital. Apparantly they were in a kinda long term relationship. I don't know exactly how it ended but that is another strike against him. I'm not about being involved in the drama that goes on around here. There is no way I would want to date someone I work wth let alone someone who already has an ex that works with us also. NOT!!
Another example.....Another guy that I am extremely cool with. I actually named him as one of my men at work. He has decided that we are going to be more than friends. That pisses me off on so many different levels. #1 He is nothing but a freakin' flirt. He dam near sexually harasses every woman in the place. #2 His nasty ass girlfriend works there. Let's discuss that for a moment, shall we....
Another thing that can definitely make you unattractive to me is the company you keep. With that said, let me give you a little background on his girlfriend. At first he thought I was kinda disgusted with him and his woman because they are an interacial couple. That is neither here nor there. The bigger picture is that she is a nasty Hoe. No, I'm dead serious. There have been rumors around the hospital about some of the things she has done and she has co-signed some of them...eeeeewwwww. There are other things like the mysterious looking rash that keeps appearing around her mouth at least once a freakin' month. What is that all about? One guy told everyone at work that her kitty-kat was so funky he couldn't sleep with her. I know this sound very juvenile but I'm just trying to give y'all a little background.
So anyway he has let me know that eventhough he plays around with a lot of different woman he really wants us to get together. Now...physically he is not my type. So therefor I'm not interested. But if I would entertain the thought of us it would only be simply because he keeps me laughing and that's one of the reasons why I deal with him in the first place. Overall he is good peoples and I like talking to him. I like chillin with him at work but I have no desire to take it outside of work. Well I didn't mind taking it outside of work until I found out he didn't want a platonic relationship anymore. What would make him think that I'm trying to see him like that? But that is part of my point. How can people know what turns you on and what may turn you off? How can they know what you are looking for physically mentally or othewise? Wouldn't it be nice if the person you were attacted to was automatically attracted to you too?

Another senario that happened recently... This one actually happened to my sister. She met a guy and they talked on the phone a couple of times and he said something that turned my sister off totally....
You are goin to laugh about this, so before I tell you let me give you a little background on my sister.

She THINKS she is a fashion icon. She swears that every outfit that someone wears needs to be preapproved by her first. She spend much time watching the style channel. Honestly she really is sharp. She is always shopping and always looks good wherever she goes and sometimes she looks exceptional. I mean don't get me wrong we all look good when we go out but she just has to take her fashion over the top sometimes. So keeping that in mind...

She was on the phone talking to this guy and he mentions that he has an event to go to. He then mentions that he might pull out a pair of his cordoroys( I'm sure I spelled that wrong because I never wear them so I don't know how to spell it) That was like a red flag for my sister. I mean I would have been a little leary also. (I should probably mention that I broke up with a guy because he showed up at my house with a swishy jogging set on. I could see if it was back in the day when swishy's were still in style, but it was just about 2 years ago) So anyway she was disgusted with the though of him being dressed up in some freakin' corduroy's. So she programmed his number under "do not answer".
Then a few weeks later we were in the club and she ran into him again. They talked and she decided to give him another chance because he isn't bad on the eyes. So one day they met up somewhere just to say a quick hello because he was just getting off of work. So the conversation was going along smoothly and he was checking her out then he says, " Look at you thinking you all cute. What you got on, some Azzure jeans, old navy flip-flops and an Anne Klein watch?"
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP red alert. Straight men should not be able to look at you and know what you have on. Right down to the designer. It's not even like Azzure was written anywhere on her jeans. And how the hell does he know about the Anne Klein watch? So that definitely raised an eyebrow. Plus my sister said he was to playful. She is looking for a guy that just chills. Not someone that has jokey-jokes all the time.

I thought that was really hilarious. So I will ask this...Are these valid points that I'm making or does this all seem superficial? Does it seem like these are just excuses? I know that I can be a little critical when it comes to meeting new men. Is that wrong? And is it wrong to feel almost offended when someone that is definitely not up to your standard try and pursue you? How do they know they are not up to your standards? Or shoe on the other foot how would you feel if someone you were attracted to acting like they had no real interest in you? What about when someone likes you and you like their friend, but their friend doesn't want to give you the time of day simply because you are not their type? But the person who is liking you is not your type.

It's hard to really know what someone is looking for. The only way for that person to know you and what your interests are is for you two to be friends first. Or not unless you two just click right from the beginning and every thing else just falls into place.
I could go on and on because there are other issues like what happens when the things you thought was so cute about that person quickly fades and becomes extremely annoying. But I'll just leave it alone right here. This alone is enough to ponder.

In closing I will give a brief description of what I'm looking for...
He need to be at least 6'2" , weighing in at at least 250-275lbs. Dark skinned, and have bold features. Like full sexy lips or a very distinguished nose or really dark and thick eyebrows. He should be a little thugged out. I don't mean like a drug dealer but someone that has a little status in the streets and dudes know not to cross him because he will take it there if he has to. (What can I say, I'm from the city so that's something that we look for in our men). He also needs to have home trainng and I can take him anywhere because he knows how to act in public. ( That's sad that that has to be mentioned but you know some people are just to ghetto for their own good) He needs to be able to dress. I don't want to have to be worried about what he is going to wear if we are going out to an event. He needs to be maintaining everything that I have and more. I mean a nice vehicle a nice place and descent job.

I know this description doesn't sound that hard but you would be surprised.

Monday, March 12, 2007


I do have a real post, but I will save it for tomorrow. Today I just wanted to say Happy Birthday to my beloved mother. She would have been 50 years old today. That's so sad she has already been gone almost 5 whole years. I guess it's true what they say, "The good die young" She was the best of them. We all miss her so much.

Friday, March 02, 2007

I'm still here

My mouth finally got me into trouble. Last Thursday before I left for my trip I received a phone call from my manager. She told me that she needed to take me off the schedule for the day because there was a problem and she was conducting an investigstion. She told me she couldn't give me any more details and she would get back to me a little later. I didn't really respond at first then when I got myself together I called her back to find out what was going on. She was very vague but did tell me that someone went to HR about something I said and she was investigating it. I asked her was my job in jeopardy and she said that it depended on what the investigation showed. WTF!! For a minute or two I was extremely concerned then I just let it go. By the time she called me later that day and explained what had "supposedly " happened I was already at peace with it. So she gave me more details and I told her my side of the story. When we got off the phone I just simply said a little prayer and I put it in God's hands. I made up my mind that I wasn't going to worry about what I could not control. I had a fun-filled weekend ahead of me and I wasn't going to let anything spoil that. When I left for my trip I didn't give the situation a second thought the entire time. Yesterday I finally got a call from her and she wanted to have a meeting with me. So we met and basically she told me eveything that was said and how serious the situation was. She told me that the manager from that floor wanted me to be fired, but she didn't feel like that was necessary. She said she thought I was a good worker. I know what I'm doing and basically because it is up to her whether or not she should fire me she decided to write me up and move on from here. I was pleased to hear that because I was kinda expecting that to happen, but I was definitely prepared for the worst. Our meeting was actually pleasant, if you can believe that. We both agreed that I would no longer have to work on the floor where the incident took place. The manager on that floor has expressed that she does not like me and I have also let her know that the feeling is very mutual. So we figure it is in eveyone's best interest if I don't have to be bothered with her or her staff members.

Moving on...I ran into my ex-mother-in-law. She is such a sweetie pie. I can't help but love her. She got some shit with her but so does everyone else. She asked me when was the last time I heard from her son. I told her I haven't heard from him and she couldn't believe it. Apparantly he is really trying to be a man about his situation. I must say I'm very proud of him. One of the chicks he dealt with before is now living with his mother. I know part of that is her trying to keep tabs on him. His mom told me he won't talk to her either. He even made his mom take his daughter back to her mother because he doesn't want the ex-girlfriend being around her and getting attached to her. I thought that was very interesting. Sometimes that boy never ceases to amaze me.