Work has been PURE HELL this week. I have one more night to go then I'm off. So Saturday night I plan on being drunk as hell. I'm not sure if I'm going out with my sister or my man. Last Saturday we went to the club together. First we went to this little bar that he frequents it was a nice little spot. I love going out and just people watch. There are some real characters out there. I really HATE to see a female out somewhere and her shit ain't tight. One of the main keys to being a fly girl is knowing what you can and cannot wear. I'm not just saying that because I'm only a size 4. If I was a 14 or a 24 my shit would still be tight. I HATE to see a female in some real cheap ass shoes. That really pisses me off because I have a love affair with shoes. Last but definitely not least. I HATE to see a female with more than one hairsyle going on at the same time. I can't explain but you women know what I mean. When there is so much going on with their hair that you can't even describe the hair-do even if you wanted to.

On the other hand there were a few cuties there that I will give props to. I have no problem what-so-ever giving a woman a compliment if I notice that her shit is tight. That is the kind of shit you can do when you know your shit is right. Yes, I am that conceited. Actually I don't like that word....I'll say confident. I always tell my man that he better hold on to me because I am the best looking thing that he has come across. He agreed with me. He know what the deal is.

Anyway, we left the bar and went to the club. We had a few more drinks and got on the dance floor. I LOVE watching my man dance. He is so sexy, and I equate dancing with sex. I am one of those people who think that if you can't dance you can't make love. How true is that? Anyway I had to drop it like it was hot on his ass. The music was really getting to me and I was feelin' it. He asked me if that's how I dance when I go out with my sister and my girls. Of course I told him no. After that we were ready to get home and finish what we started in the club in the bedroom.

HONESTY

You wanna know the real reason I started blogging? Because I had 2 journals in my life. The first one was when I was young, a teeneager. My mom and grandmom found it and they were quite upset because in it I expressed how much I hated both of them. What did you expect from a teenage girl? I really thought that was so stupid for them to be upset with me for what I said in MY journal. Those were MY private thoughts and they had no right to invade MY privacy.

The second journal I had recently. About 2 years ago. My man read it and he was pissed off about another man I mentioned and something that we did. (what we did was so good it definitely deserved an entry :-). Anyway me and my man weren't together at the time. I was in a relationship with someone else for 5 months. I couldn't believe he had the audacity to be upset with me over something I did with my "boyfriend" at the time.

After that I decided to never have a jounal again because people are to dam nosey. I know you are probably thinking, would I be nosy enough to read someone else's journal. The answer is NO! My daughter is 12 and she has a diary and I am aware of it and I have come across it several times and I have never read it.

So anyway the reason I started blogging was because I look at it as my on-line journal. I guess that's really what it is. I can say whatever the hell I want to say. I can be honest about what is going on or not going on in my life. I don't even care that perfect stangers are reading it and even commenting on what I'm writing, because no one knows me. All they know about me is what I tell them. So I'm going to really tell a little about myself. Here is some honesty for your ass...

I am what most people would call a BITCH. Let me explain...I am very opinionated about things. I am particular about certain things. I don't let anything go. I hold a grudge like a pit-bull holding a bone. I have a smart ass mouth. But I can be very sophisticated when I'm cussing someone out, and just so you know...I'm usually cussing someone out on a daily basis. It doesn't always have to be vulgar. That's where the sophistication comes in at. People really hate it when you cuss them out in a very calm manner and not use any curse words.

I'm MONEY HUNGRY. I believe that most women are. I just don't mind openly admitting it right off the bat. I work hard and I do the things I want to do. So I don't expect to be with a broke ass man. Once again I'm sure most women are like that. I don't believe I should have to go to work and buss my ass to get the things that I want and I have a trifling ass man at home, and he is not doing something to contribute to the cause. HELL NO! One thing I know is that I will probably miss a chance at true love because of my obsession for money, but I don't care. If I'm going to do everything on my own then I will be on my own. I don't want a man there just to say I have a man. I know plenty of women like that. I know some of then pity me because they think that I'll never be truely happy if all I care about is money. I pity them because if you only have love without finance the dam mortgage can not get paid.

I am very GIVING, but I am also very SELFISH. Let me explain...I will do whatever for those I love but I won't over-extend myself. I know some people who will go above and beyond the call of duty to make someone else happy at the expense of their own happiness. HELL NO! The only person I would go above and beyond the call of duty for is my child.

Speaking of my child..I am a WONDERFUL mother. That is one of the things I do not hesitate to brag about. We have a great relationship I am aware of her strengths and shortcomings. I nuture her stengths and work on her shortcomings. No matter what I do out in the streets I try to always maintain a stable household. I am very involved with what's going on in school. I know and have developed a relationship with all of her friends. I give her space but not to much because after all she is only 12 and Lawd know I remember how much of a hot ass I was at 12. That's why I try to stay aware of what's going on with her at all times. I know that sounds basic. These things are just what comes naturally when you are a parent, but unfortunately that is not true. As sad as it is, I know plenty of women who are to busy running behind a man and are ignoring their children.

Last but not least I am EVIL as hell. You probably already figured that out from when I said I was a bitch. I am spiteful and I believe in getting revenge on someone. It's not something that I am proud of but that's me. I know two wrongs don't make it right but it makes it even. That's my motto.

So that's a little about me and I might sound like a bad person but I can't be that bad because for some strange reason people are drawn to me and they love me to death.

Dear Diary

Yesterday was one of the best days I have had in a long time. I worked the night before so I was sleep all day. When I woke up late in the afternoon there was a stanger in my house. He was in the kitchen fixing a whole I have had in the ceiling for forever. My man told me he had someone to fix it. He even talked to him about remodeling the whole kitchen. He said he can and will do it for us soon. I was extremely happy to hear that. While we were chillin' we heard the ice cream man coming down our street. My man asked my daughter to get him an ice cream cone. I went outsie to stop him, but he didn't hear me calling him and he kept going. When I came in the house I told my man that I couldn't catch him. So he said I should get in the car and track him down. So I said let's go. We jumped in the car and went to find him. Believe it or not we could not find him. We had the windows rolled down and we were listening out for his music and I thought I heard it but we still had no luck. All I had on was a tank top, pajama pants and sweatsocks. It was too funny. When we got back home my daughter said thanks for leaving me here with the stranger in the kitchen, for all I know he could have been a mass murderer. Me and my man just fell out laughing!

After the guy was done with the kitchen my man told me to get dressed so we could go to the movies. We went to see Poseidon. It was really good. We both enjoyed it. Whenever I choose the movie it's always a good choice. On the way home from the movies he suggested that we go to the bar and have a drink. So we went home so I could throw on some shoes and get just a little cuter. It was karaoke night and I was expecting to see someone there that I didn't want to see. As soon as we got there she was the very first person he saw. It was Val. For those who have followed my blog or those who know me you know who Val is. If you don't know who she is I'll tell you. She is one of his ex's. She was quite upset when we got back together. She tried to harass us but that bullshit was nipped in the bud quick. So there she was sitting there in all her ugliness. Let me explain. I am not one of those girls to hate on ANYONE. I will be the first one to give a girl props if she is cute or if she is sharp and she keeps her shit together. Even if you are not a cute girl I still have positive things to say. BUT if you are an ugly girl who thinks you are the shit, that's when I got something to say. Val is one of those girls, or should I say one of those women. She is older than me and him, but by the way she acts you wouldn't believe it. I used to be very sypathetic towards her, but she couldn't handle what was going on and she started acting real crazy so I am now like, to hell with her.

Me and my man was in the cut just chillin', and enjoying the atmosphere. We had a few drinks then I ordered some food. We waited for that to get done then we were ready to go. As we were leaving the guy behind the bar said something to my man. He said Boss that's why you are the man and he looked at me and winked and gave him the thumbs up. You know that was a compliment towards me. Boss grabbed my hand and kissed it, then we walked out. All that happened right in front of Val. She just turned around and shook her head. Once again don't get me wrong I'm not petty like that at all, but like I said she started the bullshit.

I love being buzzed when I'm with my man. I feel so safe with him. When we got home we sat in the car for a while and talked about what is going on in our relationship. We were talking about how we wouldn't have a problem with other women and men hatin' on us if we would just stop bringing other people into our equation. We really do want this to be our last time, because no matter what we just keep getting back together. Once we were done talking about how much we loved each other we went in the house and expressed that love. You know drunk sex is off the hook. We wore each other out. I didn't wake up the next day until 2:30 in the afternoon. When I woke up he was laying right next to me sleeping just as hard. I love that man!

Can't Wait Until It Gets HOT!

I am getting ready for the summer,and my man is mad! We got into a huge argument the other day. He was pissed off a few days ago because he was complaining that I never cook any more. He wants to know why can't he get a home cooked meal, but I'm always asking for money so I can go shopping or whatever. One day I needed money to get my nails, toes and eyebrows done. Two days later I was in the shoe store tryin' on shoes. He happened to call me at that time and I asked him if I buy these shoes will you give me my money back. He said yes, but I could definitely hear the irritation in his voice. Not to mention I got my hair braided 4 days ago. Yes, he paid for that too. A few weeks ago I got my bellybutton pierced and that caused mad tension. He was so pissed off. How dare I go to a tattoo place and get something done other than get his name tattooed on me. He got my name tattooed on him last July. Ever since then he has been waiting for me to return the favor. I can honestly say I am not planning on getting his name on me. I'm not going to lie, I love laying on his chest and seeing my name. I really like it because he has no other tattoos just that one so it stands out.

Anyway aside from beautifying myself to get ready for the summer I'm also about to get a new car. Do you remember the horror stories about my car? Well my brother had told me before he left for Iraq that if I gave him six months he would send me money for a down payment for a new car. About a month ago he sent me $4,000. So I guess I'll go car shopping soon. I'm also about to get some work done on my house. A few weeks ago we painted my daughter's room so now I feel like I want to paint the rest of the house. I'm also going to do some major yard work.

I'm going to take some real estate classes soon. Ever since I brought my house 4 years ago I've always wanted to get into real estate. I'm a procrastinator. I hate that but better late than never.

Now all I have to do is get rid of my man and I will be officially ready to start my summer. I know that sounds crazy but I always seem to catch the fever this time of year. I didn't realize it until he bought it to my attention that we usually don't spend the summer together, because I catch the fever and get rid of him so I can enjoy my summer. I figure if that's what I've been doing all this time I need not break tradition.