ALWAYS SOMETHING GOING ON

With me around there are hardly any dull moment. Smiles are what I like to see, laughter is what I like to hear and Hugs & kisses are what I like to feel.Sometimes it seems like I have so much going on all at once. No matter what I always remain smiling because the Lord watches over me.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

SORRY DUDE, NOT INTERESTED

I guess it's hard to know what people are and are not attracted to when you first meet them. You don't know what someone's preference is. And sometimes you might be fairly attracted to someone on the physical level but definitely not on the mental level. Let me give you a few examples of what I'm talking about....
There is a guy at my job and at first I was just figuring he was cool and we were just chillin at work the way I chill with all of my men at work. But it didn't take to long to realize he had a different agenda. He told me that we were trying to build a pyramid together. WOW!! I didn't realize we were supposed to be building that kind of relationship. Now I'm not trying to be mean, but I need to be honest. He was in no way shape, form or fashion my type. He is not someone I could ever see myself being romatically involved with. I have a million reasons why but I won't name them because I don't want it to seem like I'm being conceited. So I had to think of it like...how would he possible be able to know he was not my type of man. Maybe I was just his type of woman and that's what was driving him to try and build this so called "pyramid" with me. Then I find out that he has an ex girlfriend that works in the hospital. Apparantly they were in a kinda long term relationship. I don't know exactly how it ended but that is another strike against him. I'm not about being involved in the drama that goes on around here. There is no way I would want to date someone I work wth let alone someone who already has an ex that works with us also. NOT!!
Another example.....Another guy that I am extremely cool with. I actually named him as one of my men at work. He has decided that we are going to be more than friends. That pisses me off on so many different levels. #1 He is nothing but a freakin' flirt. He dam near sexually harasses every woman in the place. #2 His nasty ass girlfriend works there. Let's discuss that for a moment, shall we....
Another thing that can definitely make you unattractive to me is the company you keep. With that said, let me give you a little background on his girlfriend. At first he thought I was kinda disgusted with him and his woman because they are an interacial couple. That is neither here nor there. The bigger picture is that she is a nasty Hoe. No, I'm dead serious. There have been rumors around the hospital about some of the things she has done and she has co-signed some of them...eeeeewwwww. There are other things like the mysterious looking rash that keeps appearing around her mouth at least once a freakin' month. What is that all about? One guy told everyone at work that her kitty-kat was so funky he couldn't sleep with her. I know this sound very juvenile but I'm just trying to give y'all a little background.
So anyway he has let me know that eventhough he plays around with a lot of different woman he really wants us to get together. Now...physically he is not my type. So therefor I'm not interested. But if I would entertain the thought of us it would only be simply because he keeps me laughing and that's one of the reasons why I deal with him in the first place. Overall he is good peoples and I like talking to him. I like chillin with him at work but I have no desire to take it outside of work. Well I didn't mind taking it outside of work until I found out he didn't want a platonic relationship anymore. What would make him think that I'm trying to see him like that? But that is part of my point. How can people know what turns you on and what may turn you off? How can they know what you are looking for physically mentally or othewise? Wouldn't it be nice if the person you were attacted to was automatically attracted to you too?

Another senario that happened recently... This one actually happened to my sister. She met a guy and they talked on the phone a couple of times and he said something that turned my sister off totally....
You are goin to laugh about this, so before I tell you let me give you a little background on my sister.

She THINKS she is a fashion icon. She swears that every outfit that someone wears needs to be preapproved by her first. She spend much time watching the style channel. Honestly she really is sharp. She is always shopping and always looks good wherever she goes and sometimes she looks exceptional. I mean don't get me wrong we all look good when we go out but she just has to take her fashion over the top sometimes. So keeping that in mind...

She was on the phone talking to this guy and he mentions that he has an event to go to. He then mentions that he might pull out a pair of his cordoroys( I'm sure I spelled that wrong because I never wear them so I don't know how to spell it) That was like a red flag for my sister. I mean I would have been a little leary also. (I should probably mention that I broke up with a guy because he showed up at my house with a swishy jogging set on. I could see if it was back in the day when swishy's were still in style, but it was just about 2 years ago) So anyway she was disgusted with the though of him being dressed up in some freakin' corduroy's. So she programmed his number under "do not answer".
Then a few weeks later we were in the club and she ran into him again. They talked and she decided to give him another chance because he isn't bad on the eyes. So one day they met up somewhere just to say a quick hello because he was just getting off of work. So the conversation was going along smoothly and he was checking her out then he says, " Look at you thinking you all cute. What you got on, some Azzure jeans, old navy flip-flops and an Anne Klein watch?"
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP red alert. Straight men should not be able to look at you and know what you have on. Right down to the designer. It's not even like Azzure was written anywhere on her jeans. And how the hell does he know about the Anne Klein watch? So that definitely raised an eyebrow. Plus my sister said he was to playful. She is looking for a guy that just chills. Not someone that has jokey-jokes all the time.

I thought that was really hilarious. So I will ask this...Are these valid points that I'm making or does this all seem superficial? Does it seem like these are just excuses? I know that I can be a little critical when it comes to meeting new men. Is that wrong? And is it wrong to feel almost offended when someone that is definitely not up to your standard try and pursue you? How do they know they are not up to your standards? Or shoe on the other foot how would you feel if someone you were attracted to acting like they had no real interest in you? What about when someone likes you and you like their friend, but their friend doesn't want to give you the time of day simply because you are not their type? But the person who is liking you is not your type.

It's hard to really know what someone is looking for. The only way for that person to know you and what your interests are is for you two to be friends first. Or not unless you two just click right from the beginning and every thing else just falls into place.
I could go on and on because there are other issues like what happens when the things you thought was so cute about that person quickly fades and becomes extremely annoying. But I'll just leave it alone right here. This alone is enough to ponder.

In closing I will give a brief description of what I'm looking for...
He need to be at least 6'2" , weighing in at at least 250-275lbs. Dark skinned, and have bold features. Like full sexy lips or a very distinguished nose or really dark and thick eyebrows. He should be a little thugged out. I don't mean like a drug dealer but someone that has a little status in the streets and dudes know not to cross him because he will take it there if he has to. (What can I say, I'm from the city so that's something that we look for in our men). He also needs to have home trainng and I can take him anywhere because he knows how to act in public. ( That's sad that that has to be mentioned but you know some people are just to ghetto for their own good) He needs to be able to dress. I don't want to have to be worried about what he is going to wear if we are going out to an event. He needs to be maintaining everything that I have and more. I mean a nice vehicle a nice place and descent job.

I know this description doesn't sound that hard but you would be surprised.

6 Comments:

Blogger feels good b n FREE said...

hey
i actually think that u r making excuse, but they are valid!
especially about the second dude.
he's probably nice, but trust your instinct. and that story about ur sister...ha-larious. lol
(i miss her)
and u heifer....see u soon!

March 20, 2007 4:33 AM  
Blogger Ladynay said...

At least you konw what you want in most aspects...

March 20, 2007 4:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know exactly what you talking about.

Are these valid points that I'm making or does this all seem superficial? I think they are valid points. I wouldn't date someone whose been dating a known ho.

And is it wrong to feel almost offended when someone that is definitely not up to your standard try and pursue you? I don't think it's wrong to feel offended. I know I have before. Once a dude walked up to me trying to holla. He had about 4 teeth, clothes dirty, and hair look like it hasn't been cut in months. Here I am dressed clean to the nines with my hair layed to the side! I'm like damn do I look like somebody that will holla at you. I felt offended that he thought he could holla at me and I would give him the time and day.

As far as the first dude you mention, I wouldn't date him b/c he just got out of long term relationship and the girl works with you too. The second dude...wouldn't date him b/c of the company he keeps..ie his nasty ass girlfriend. A rash around the mouth...hell to the nawl! And the dude that tried to get with your sister, wouldn't date him b/c like you said he shouldn't have known every piece of her clothing.

March 20, 2007 8:46 AM  
Blogger Ms.Honey said...

I have programmed some fools under do not answer or confused or annoying LOL. I mean you like what you like and I'm mad all the men at your job are trying to holla at you LOL.

At least you know what you dont' like....and apparently you got what they want so that says alot :)

March 20, 2007 9:26 AM  
Blogger Nexgrl said...

I don't think that you are being too critical. I also think that your list of wants is valid. I do understand how hard it is to find someone that has all or some of those qualities that you have listed.

Now for the men approaching that you aren't interested in. I get that a lot. When I am feeling extra pissed because they have approached me I will say, " You can't even afford to look at me."

I haven't said it in a while. I usually just ignore them.

Tell the men on your job that you can be friends, but NOT FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS!

March 20, 2007 4:34 PM  
Blogger TrinaBeingTrina said...

Ladies I am so happy to know that you are all feelin' me on this. For a while I thought that I was the one trippin'. Thanx for letting me know I am not crazy!

March 21, 2007 8:18 PM  

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