Que sera sera (what will be will be)

Apparantly you can't have your cake and eat it too. But if I got cake what the fuck I'm supposed to do?!?

Anyway, I have not seen "C" in forever. But we talk often. But not to long ago my man went thru my phone and called one of my ex's. It's funny because the one they suspect your cheating with is never the one you are actually cheating with. So after that incident I decided to come clean with "C" Because my man mentioned his # also being in my phone but he didn't really pursue it to much. So I wanted to tell "C" what was going on just in case my man called him.

De'javu.....When we were together the first time I called some chick in the middle of the night and asked her straight up was she fucking my man. She said no I didn't believe her. She called him in the morning to tell him what happened and he called me. I didn't care and I felt like I was well in my rights to call her. So now the tables have turned and he just did the same shit to me. Isn't he to old for that? Anyway...

Me and "C" will never be right again. He doesn't trust me. He has every right to feel that way. But I didn't tell him about me and my man at first because if we would have gotten serious I would have left "R" Plus anything that is done at the beginning of a relationship is forgiven, especiallly because we were only having sex. Nothing was official yet. Whatever...

I believe he is upset because he had no clue I was still with my man. He does not understand how I was always there when he called and he never suspected "R" was still in the picture. He's mad because I'm good at what I do.

We talked earlier today. I already gave up on us but now it's really a done deal. I'm not even going to sleep with him again. But we did let each other know how we really feel about each other. We know that we can never be together but our friendship is still strong. Usually sex ruins the friendship but we care about each other way to much not to still be on each other's side. But I probably won't talk to him as often as I do. But if he ever needs anything I will be there for him and vice-versa.

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

PS. I just proof read this and in my mind I'm thinking...This is some dumb shit. If I was reading this from someone else I would think this chick is a stupid whore. How could she think that she could start a real relationship with someone who is just fucking her. And if her and her man have a trust issue why the hell are they together. The whole thing just sound so juvenile.
Be that as it may, this is what's going on.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I just want to wish everyone a Happy Turkey Day. I don't really have to much to say. This is my favoridest holiday and I can't wait to sit down and eat later. So I hope eveyone's Thanksgiving is filled with Thanks and Giving :-) Have a great day and please, whatever you do, EAT TOO MUCH!!

Got My Lips All Set!

You ever had your lips all set? Well, I just came from Wa-Wa and my lips were all set for a banana nut muffin and the dam guy who delivers the fresh donuts and muffins hadn't been there yet. I purposely waited until 11:30 pm to go over there because I know he comes around 11:00. I figured I had given him enough time to deliver the goods. Apparantly I was wrong. So now my dilemma is do I leave work again a little later on, and brave the cold, damp weather for a fresh muffin?

Earlier tonight I also had my lips set for some cake. I have a whole cake over my man's house that I haven't even cracked open yet. I can just taste it melting in my mouth.
Another thing I got my lips all set for is some turkey! Thanksgiving is my favoridest holiday :-) I can not wait to sink my teeth in all that food. My dad has been prepping food since Saturday. That man does not play around when it comes to cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Everything is always so scrumptious. But one thing in particular I got my lips all set for is the Cream-sicle cake. OMG!!! It is to die for. Every year we have a birthday cake. It's a big sheet cake and it has everyone's name on it who has a birthday in November. But it's always a different flavor every year. So this year I put in my request early for the cream-sicle cake. We had it a few years ago and it was a huge hit with the locals. I keep telling my man how good it is and he absolutely loves sweets so now he is looking forward to it almost as much as I am. I definitely have passion for sweets. I told my grandmom I would cut her a big piece and freeze it until she gets down here for Christmas. Oh btw.. in case you are wondering, yes, it tastes just like the cream-sicle ice cream bars. If you like them then you will love this cake.

Anyway I hate when I have a taste for something and I can't get it. That pisses me off!

Just shooting the breeze

I'm tired. I worked 56 hours last week and I plan on working the same this week also. Saturday I was off work and me and my man got out for a little while. We went to the mall. Did a little shopping. Then we went to eat. Outback steakhouse. The food was good. We talked about the way we met and he said if I would have met him in a club I probably would not have paid him any attention. I told him that was not true. He said he would not have approached me because he doesn't have any game and that's not his style. I told him that I would have approached him. He was a little surprised I said that. I told him the only reason I didn't directly approach him when I first seen him was because it wasn't appropriate. Whenever I saw him I was picking up my child from the afterschool program. I couldn't seem like some desperate, loose single mother trying to put the moves on the athletic director. But if we had seen each other across a crowded room in a club I would have definitely made my way over to him to flirt. First of all he is what I look for when I'm out on the prowl for a man :-) Seriously, he is big as hell just like I like my men. Whenever there is a big man in the vicinity I take notice. I absolutely love big guys. And my man is massive. When he walks into a room everyone takes notice. He has actually gotten bigger since the first time we were together 3 years ago.

We are on the same page as far as being totally attracted to each other. We have even admitted that part of what keeps us from leaving each other is because we lust after each other. I am always turned on when I look at him and vice-versa. Plus we look good together. Anyhoo....

Today my daddy is coming home from Missouri (is that spelled right?) He went to see my brother's new house. I talked to him and my step mom yesterday and they were ranting and raving about it. I'm so happy for him. He deserves to live that way since he has risked his life twice in Iraq. We just found out that his wife has to go back in May. This will be her 2nd tour. So the family will get together before then and we will all go to visit them before she leaves. I want to cut that short because I don't want to talk about that................ So anyway Friday was my daddy's birthday and my brother and his wife barbequed for him and brought him all types of gifts. I really can't imagine what the hell they bought him when the man has everything. But they had a cake and sang happy b-day and got drunk. I will be honest, I was torn. On one hand I was jealous as hell because my daddy was there instead of here for his b-day. Then on the other hand I was so happy that my brother got a chance to see him on his b-day. That almost never happens since my brother is in the service. But my dad had a good time and that's all that mattered. So today me and my sister will be picking him up from the airport around noon and we are all going to go to lunch. I can't wait to see the old man. Well that's it for now. I'll holla at y'all later.

At the movies

I know I'm real late but I finally went to see, Why did I get married. It was good but I guess because I had heard so much about it my expectations were extremely high. But I really did enjoy it. It was a little unrealistic. Jill Scott's character was not even believable. I refuse to believe there are women out there who's self-esteem is really that low. I can't imagine me getting off the plane without my husband and actually driving by my lonesome all the way up to the freakin mountains or wherever the hell they were. While he is on a plane with my best friend. And neither one of them offered to get off the plane and come with me. There is no way. Another thing that could not happen is my true friends knowing for sure that some other floozy is sleeping with my man and they do not pull me to the side and immedietly tell me what's going on. I would have been mad at all them hussies for having me looking like a fool by going out shopping with her and telling her all my business and all the while she is laying up with my man under my nose. I would not hesitate to tell my girl that her husband was cheating on her.

Anyhoo.. The ghetto girl in the movie, Y'all know who I'm talking about. She reminded me of me. I was sitting there in pure amazement at how her character captured the very essence of me. I was sitting there with Diamonds and we were falling out laughing because everything that came out of her mouth was something I would have said and just the way I would have said it. Even when I was at work a few people told me they thought of me whenever she was in rare form.

But overall I did enjoy the movie even though I paid $7.75 for a freaking matinee. I was absolutely floored when she told me the price of the movie. Why the hell does a matinee cost so dam much. Then the girl that work there had the absolute nerve to tell me she gets to see all the movies for free but she doesn't watch them because she is not really into movies like that. I looked at her like she had two heads. I told her she better take advantage of that because what they are charging is highway robbery. I'm considering getting a part time job there just so my family and friends came come to the movies for free because soon I won't be able to afford the movies.