Random Stuff

I have about a bazillion things I could blog about so I'm going to just vent to get some things off my chest so let's begin, shall we.....

I despise "Stupid Women" Y'all know who I'm talking about and if you acting like you have no clue what I mean then maybe you should take a look at yourself because you might be her. Not trying to offend anyone because I love my blog family especially my women but for the most part the stupid women don't know they are being stupid. I'm so tired of seeing the scandalous shit that goes on at my job. One girl is buying her so called "boyfriends" love and attention. Another older woman that I'm really close with, she keeps letting her man come and go as he dam well pleases. I mean he is gone for Weeks at a time. Then he comes back and give her a sob story about how he is trying to get his life together and he didn't want to bring drama to her house. I asked her to please consider the possibility that if he is gone for that long and she knows he is used to being with her that maybe he is layed up with another woman. She tells me that she can't even allow herself to think about that because the thought hurts to much. BUT she did admit to me that during on of his "extended" stays when he came back home and stayed for only 2 days and left again she noticed something funky going on and she went to the Dr. to discover she had some type of "infection" and she had to get a shot in the ass. WTF!! She is definitely to old for that bullshit and if that isn't proof that another woman or man is in the picture then I don't know what is. HELLO!! I swear I have at least 3 more unbelieveable scenarios but it just pisses me off to no end so I'm going to cut it short but I will elaborate on things at a later time.

My ex-boyfriend and I have become the best of friends. I'm not talking about "R" I'm talking about Boss. He thinks he is falling in love with this new girl he is dealing with. From what I have heard of her she has my stamp of approval. He needs a certain kind of woman and she seem to have the qualifications that he needs. So far so good. But it's still very new. They are still getting to know each other. I'm hoping she is the kind of woman who stands her ground because he is the kind of guy that will try to walk all over someone if they let him. Plus she is cute and stylish. I know that sound shallow, but that's also some thing he really needs to hold his interest. What can I say I know him like that back of my right hand. I had a whole lot to do with him growing up. And I know what he needs. He told me she is the closest he has ever come to me. I know that also sounds conceited but I know he is looking for a carbon copy of me. Goood luck with that because I am an ORIGINAL. I told "R" that today. I told him that he will never be with no one else like me. He said that's not necesarrily a bad thing. We both fell out laughing. That poor man. He has never really known exactly what to do with me. But he loves me to death. I told him that I know he will never admit that he is missing me so much,but it's ok to miss me. I told him he doesn't have to be ashamed, there is no need to feel like a fool or be mad at himself for missing me. He's only human and he can't help the way he feels. Once again we both fell out laughing, but we also both know that I was right. So I let him get back to work and told him I would talk to him later.

I am really developing a severe sleeping problem. I am a done deal in the day time. I can not get up out of the bed to save my dam life. My hips are hurting because I'm always laying on them. I'm gonna need a dam hip replacement soon! Then around midnight or 1:00 am I get up and do EVERYTHING. I take a shower, put on fresh pajamas, clean my room. Then I go inspect the rest of the house. If things need to be straightened up I do that. Then I start cooking dinner. I know this sounds crazy but I'm dead serious. Once I'm done cooking I enjoy a nice hardy meal. I talk on the phone all night long usually Boss calls me about midnight and we talk throughout the night. I also talk to everyone at my job. Since I work night shift most of my people are up at night because they are at work. Then I find something good to watch on tv. If nothing good is on I will pop in a movie. Then around 6:00am, after I have eaten everything in the kitchen, made sure everything down stairs is straightened up. Then make sure the bathroom is clean so my daughter and sister can get ready for school. I put the food up that I cooked once it cools off so the kids will have it for dinner that night. By this time the sun is starting to creep up and I am ready to take it down until night fall falls again. Unless I have to go to work and that's still not until 7:00 in the evening. Don't get me wrong I get up a few times during the day to put the dog out and feed her. Then I will make myself a sandwhich or something quick to eat then I lay back down. I will wake up to watch my soap operas, then I'm back off to sleep. I am really becoming a freakin' vampire!

Feeling like whatever

Why does it always take me forever to post a new blog? I have no idea. It's definitely not for lack of conversation. Like the title says, there is always something going on.

Since I was last here I have had a death in the family. One of my aunties had a heart attack. I have been sick and felt like I was brought back from the dead! I'm missing my man like crazy. He Informed me that he is making arrangement to sell his house and move back home to Virginia. My ex-boyfriend has been calling me every day, several times a day. I got a new job. My daughter is about to start working. Now she may also be sick because there is a nasty bug going around and everyone is passing it around.

Honestly I don't even feel like elaborating on anything. But I will give a you a quick briefing.
I'm kinda ok with me and "R" not being together but when I found out he was going to go back to Viginia I was a little stunned! I remeber when we first got back together and we were planning on moving in together and getting married he did tell me that if things did not work out with us then he was going to leave Jersey. Of course I didn't really pay him any attention because I wasn't planning on anything going wrong with us. So now that I know he is really trying to leave I'm quite bothered by that. I understand why he would just pick up and go. He has no ties here and all his immediate family is there so why would he stay here. If I was him I would do the same thing. Especially because for whatever reason that's where I want to be anyway. But I have my daughter to consider. I didn't want to take her away from her dad. So I wanted to move when she turned 18. That way she could make her own decision to stay or go.

Anyway, my dad has 2 sisters and they are my favorite aunts. The oldest one had a heart attach but she is fine. Thank God because I wouldn't be able to handle it if something happened to her right now because she is like a second mother to me and my sisters. My other aunt, her husband had a massive heart attach and he died. He was only 53 and my aunt is only 41. Needless to say she was absolutely devastated. They had been having problems at the time. So you know how people hold guilt if someone dies and the last time they spoke to that person things weren't on good terms. So it was even harder on her. Anyway we got thru the funeral. It was almost 2 weeks ago.

I am starting a new job in March. It is the exact same thing I do at my job and I'm not leaving my job. The only reason I wanted to seek employment somewhere else is because I wanted more stability. I am not regular staff at my job so if I'm not needed they can always cancel me and I won't be able to work. I don't like that because I am a bit of a work-a-holic. But like I said I will still be at my first job. I'm just going to work at both places. I know it sounds like a lot but it's really not. It will actually work out fine.

My daughter's best friend's mom is a manager at Taco Bell so she is going to let my daughter work there on the weekends. I have to get working papers for her and take her for a physical. Then in the summer she will be able to do more hours. My daughter is so excited. She wants to work so bad. I personally think she is to young. But I'm going to let her do it as long as she stays focused in school. She said she is tired of always asking me for so much money. She realized how much I give her. But I don't mind and really she will only be working 2 days out of the week so she will still be hitting me up for money. hahaha

Boss has been calling me everyday. I will admit I enjoy our conversations but that's as far as things go. As a matter of fact he still thinks that me and "R" are going strong. I only did that because I don't want him to start trying to pop up at my house. There isn't anything between us but friendship. I keep encouraging him to be good to his girlfriend. She could be good for him. Eventhough she is just going to let him walk all over her, but whatever. I got my own problems.

A few days ago I think I felt what death must feel like. I'm not even kidding. I was so sick I didn't know what to do with myself. But I guess maybe it was just a 24 hour bug because the next day I was ok then that night I came to work. Hahaha. I know that sound crazy but like I said I'm a workaholic!

Speaking of that, I'm starting to get a little annoyed with myself because my daughter pointed something out to me that I already knew but when she mentioned it I realized how bad it is. She told me that she notices how hard I work, but all I do is sit in the house and go no where. Meanwhile if I see something I want I will buy it then it's just hanging in the closet untouched because I don't go out anywhere anymore. She is so right. Three weeks ago I brought a pair of black leather boots I just had to have them! They are still sitting in the exact same place I put them when I brought them in the house. I have clothes with the tags on them that I won't get a chance to wear because the winter will be over before I decide to go anywhere. It's really getting ridiculous. Tomorrow I'm going to get a pair of Coach sneaker that I need to add to my collection. It will probably be a few months before I wear them. If I go out the house I just throw something real plain on or I have on my scrubs because chances are I'm on my way to work so I have so many clothes that remain untouched.

Anyway that's whats been going on with me. I'm going to try to get back into blogging more. I'm just feeling like blah these days. It could be just I really do hate the winter and I can't wait for the spring to break. It could be i'm feeling some type of way about me and "R". Maybe i'm tired of going to funerals. That's what made me feel some type of way about me and "R" in the first place. Death is so permanent. It makes all the arguements seem petty. Anyway I'm kinda in a funk but I'll be fine :-)