THINGS CAN'T ALWAYS BE THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO BE, BUT IT'S STILL ALL GOOD.

I just need to vent a little bit right now.

I tried to get a new car yesterday. NOT!! that wasn't happening they was talkin' some crazy shit and I didn't want to hear it. I usually do stuff like that with my daddy but he could make it so my brother went with me. But we had my dad on the phone. It was like a three way conference meeting. My daddy was like hang up the phone and walk the hell outta there. But you know car salesman, they were still trying as I was getting in my car and pulling off. So now I guess I just have to get my car fixed. The transmission is slipping and you know that is going to cost a grip. But I really like my car. It seems like it just fits me perfectly. My brother told me that if I get it patched up and I hold out for 6 more months he will send me no less that $4,000 as down payment for a new car. If he does that I'm going to get a truck. I want an f-150. Don't ask me why, because everyone asks me that. I just really want one. You know the 4 door one with the short bed. Almost everyone in my family has some sort of truck. So I feel like I should have one too. I know I have some nerve, right. Believe it or not I'm not stressed at all. I know I will have a new car or mine will get fixed and I will still be driving. My daddy would let me be transportationless. Eventhough I know he is sick of me and my car problems.

Other than that little problem going on right now I'm very optimistic about the new year. I actually sat back last night and reflected on last year. If I would have started blogging way back then I would have had 2 new stories for yall everyday. Because my relationship with my man was that freakin' crazy. I was thinking about how calm things have been since he is away. No argueing, no fighting, no putting him out all the time, or him getting mad and leaving only to turn right back around and be back before 24 hours was up. No more car chases.(refer back to love is crazy) I don't have to worry about any of that. My days have just been easy breezy.... I had to actually stop typing and think about that ...easy, breezy.

Anyway earlier I mentioned my brother... he is hear on leave from the military because when he goes back he is going to Iraq for 1 year. People who know me they know I have such a problem with that because he was there already for a year and a half. He has only been home for a year. The bad part about the first time was him and his wife were both there. They are both in the military, and they have 2 kids. When my brother called the whole family to tell us he was going back he was to calm and I knew it was something funny about it. Well come to find out he volunteered (didI spell that right). Anyway when I got off the phone with him I immedietly called my daddy so I could try to console him because he hates the idea of him being there and when my brother came back home the first time I could see the sheer look of relief on his face to know that his son made it home safely from such a deadly place. But my brother was obviously born for the millitary. He is a true soldier(not like these negros out here on the corner acting like cause they in the streets hustlin' they soldiers). Sorry about that I just had to put that in there. Anyway his wife is very upset about it. She said she was being uderstanding when he first informed her of his decision. Then when she was by herself she said she cried her eyes out. He said he is going because he will be training new soldiers and he has already been there and he knows what's going on and he hopes he will be able to save a few lives. So I will be praying for him as always.

Enough of that because I could break down crying just thinking about it... As far as what I told yall in the last post, I've been trying to keep my distance but he is telling me to stop worrying about what I think everyone else will say. He also told me to stop looking at him as the guy I grew up with and start looking at him as a guy I met on New Years Eve, because he has already stopped looking at me as the girl he grew up with. He is now looking at me as the new woman he met on New Year's Eve.....Personally I think the boy is crazy. The shit can not work. Period.