Craving Him

I'm so sorry I can't help it but dayyum, my body is fiending for my "friend" We are both going thru withdrawl. I do believe at first he was purposely keeping me at arms length because he was mad when he found out me and my man were still together. But now that he is over the initial shock he is missing me. But our work schedules are just to conflicting. We both have been putting in way too much time in the work place. Then in his spare time he has his children. That's something I absolutely love about him. He called me Sunday morning and he was making breakfast with the kids. They sounded so cute together. My heart was just melting.

Dam, I'm mad that I came clean about everyhting. I should have kept lieing. You know you can't have anything real with the person you are cheating with because they will never trust you. I can completely understand because If he was with his baby-mamma (that is so ghetto) and he was lieing to her and cheating on her with me I would never be able to trust him if he was trying to be serious with me. He always used to tell me that I knew way too much to be a female. He said I play the game like a man does. I'm not proud of that. I'm not really trying to play any games. I really wish I could take back that first night.

He was so hard headed. The whole time we were just friends and we flirted with each other from time to time. But I knew something was brewing. He thought I was just tripping. He admitted that he cared about me but when I told him he cared more than what he thought he did he didn't want to hear that. He wanted to know how I had the audacity to tell him how he feels. But I knew, he just didn't know it yet.

He called me one night out of the blue and said, "I'm ready" That was all I needed to hear. I got directions and I was on my way to his house. We talked, we drank, we fucked. Then we slowed it down and made love. It was a hell of a night. Well, that one night brought us to where we are now. Secret Lovers.

This is the bullshit that men do and us women are always devastated, and we want to know how can he claim that he love you so much then have a relationship with someone else. Not just sex but a whole relationship. All the while they do love their girlfriend and would do anything for her and want to see her happy and maybe even wants to marry her. Well, that's how I feel. My man is the best and I would never want to hurt him. I always want to be with him. I hope to be his wife one day. But right now I can't help that my body is craving my "friend"

I know y'all think I'm crazy but join the club. Some think I'm crazy. Some think I'm cold and heartless. But whatever.