Trying to right a wrong and still did wrong

Lately I know I have been being a little bitchy towards my man. For instance he had tickets for us to go to a show on Sunday. I caught an attitude because I found out who we were supposed to be going with. So I decided not to go. That afternnon before we were supposed to leave he called me and asked was I going and I told him no. I told him to have a good time and I would see him later. Needless to say he was pissed. I even had the nerve to call him back and ask him did he want me to come over later on that night. He was like "whatever" Anyway, when he got home we talked and because he had a little liquor in him he let me know how disappointed he was. I kinda felt bad but "whatever" It was over and done and it wasn't anything I could do to change the fact that I didn't go. So a few days later we had a small disagreement about something and I told him that everyday I realize he is not "the one" He was pissed about that. So the next day after I got off work and got some sleep (remember I work over night) I got up and decided I was going to do something nice for him. So I went to the liquor store (it's always good to have liquor when your trying to butter some one up). Anyway I got him some cold beers and got myself some smirnoff ice. I went to the grocery store to get the ingredients I needed for dinner. I went over to his house and I started preparing everything. I made dinner. I took a pound cake and sliced it up and placed it on a cake dish. I lit every single candle in the house, and there are quite a few candles, I turned on the radio to the quiet storm. And I simply waited for hin to come home. When he got there he was surprised. The first thing he asked me was what did he do to deserve this. I told him that I realized I have been a bad girlfriend lately. We sat down and ate, and talked which is something that we really needed to do. We cleared the air on a few things. Apologized for a few things. Agreed on a few thing and disagreed on a few things. Afterwards we had desert, pound cake with vanilla ice cream on top of it and chocolate syrup drizzled on top. It was delicious. Then we cleaned up sat back had a few more drinks and enjoyed some good music. About an hour and a half later we were off to bed. (get your minds out of the gutter, we didn't do anything) We fell asleep in each others arms. It was really sweet.

About an hour and a half into our sleeping my phone rang. Instantly I knew who it was because of the ring tone. So once I got myself together and picked up the phone it had went to voice mail so I sat up, rolled out of bed and went down stairs to call him back. I know that was dead wrong but I couldn't help myself. I needed to hear his voice. So there I was down stairs on my man's couch and talking to my secret lover. He never ceases to amaze me. I told him that I was going to stop over analyzing our relationship and just go with the flow. He said he was happy to hear that, now he can concentrate on spending more time with me instead of worring about me trying to find reasons for us not to be together. He told me that even though he didn't want to admit it he has thought about us actually being in a relationship. Because I know him so well and I know his situation. He said he just doesn't want to feel like he is being forced into something, That has happened to him before, and it kinda snowballed into something that he didn't anticipate and he tried to make the best of it but in the end it failed miserable. Anyway I was shocked to hear that he actually has thought about us in a relaionship. I know that sounds crazy since I did describe the kind of passion we have between us, but we had kinda agreed that what happens in the bedroom would go no futher than that. So we talked for a while. We were both getting a little hot and bothered so we decided to say good night. I was glad that he had a house guest staying with him so he didn't press the issue of me coming over because I was already with my man and like I mentioned before, he doesn't know I'm still with my man. So anyway after he said good night he also said I love you. Once again that shocked me because that is just bedroom talk. It doesn't mean that when we say it we don't mean it. But when you start saying it at the end of phone conversations or at the end of every visit or just in the middle of the day for no reason it just starts to seem more real. Does that sound stupid? I don't know if it makes sense to y'all but it makes sense to me. Anyhoo...